Dear shit-for-brains muse

Dear shit-for-brains muse,

How's it going in Cabo? Sun feel good on your skin? Just thought I'd ask. Since, you know, I've been waiting here a while for you.

What, were you too busy with Stephen King? 40 novels worth of ideas not good enough? Or maybe you just wanted to take a break and well, relax a little.

But seriously, muse--vampires? That all you got for the rest of us? I suppose that's okay ... if you're sexually unsatisfied and semi-literate. And let's see ... Real Housewives? Let's pretend that's not a budget way to copy a certain show featuring wives who may or may not be despairing. But Orange County, New York, New Jersey, and Atlanta? I probably missed one too.

So today I sat, and waited, in the library. Do-doo-dee-doo whistling to myself. Reading. Looking at a blank page. But, I'm sorry, maybe you were heading to the Tiki-buffet this morning. Or maybe there was a group event and everybody did the macarena and you won a bottle of cheap tequila for shaking the hardest.

I don't know.

But PLEASE, muse. Like, do your job. An original idea, PLEASE???

love,
me
PS I'll even settle for half-original. Love you!